Scaling the Mountain

On my journey thus far I have had some major swings in my approach. In the beginning, I was so caught up on how high the mountain was that I stopped at the foothills feeling defeated before I ever reached the base of My Mount Everest. Once I finally made it to the mountain and took the first step I found myself constantly looking back to see how far I’d gone only to be discouraged by what I perceived to be lack of progress. When I finally refrained from incessantly checking my progress, I once again started focusing how far up ahead the summit is. Now that I had some momentum I put it into high gear hoping that my efforts would push me further up the mountain in half the time. That approach resulted in extreme fatigue and actually hurt my effort. I am now clinging to the side of the mountain and reevaluating my game plan.

I have been seeing my nutritionist since March 18th. During the three months I have been on this program, I have had lots of excuses as to why I haven’t committed myself 100% and I can honestly say that I have not a full 2 week stretch where I was committed enough not to “cheat” in one way or another. To be fair, during this time I did have surgery to remove my gallbladder which required a recovery time that would not allow me to follow the meal plan or exercise due to changes in my appetite and healing. Since I have yet to have a good consecutive timespan on the program I haven’t seen much weight loss. However, I have lost a ton of weight off my shoulders.

Through these early stages of my journey I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned just how far I can push myself and what to do when I hit a wall. I have learned where my struggles started and that coming to terms with these origins is the first step in overcoming life-long attitudes. I have learned that I will stumble and want to quit and that I possess the strength to dust myself off and appreciate a bruise or two. I have cried and stomped my feet just as much, if not more, than I have soared during this time. I think the most important and most difficult lesson I’m learning is I am not perfect nor will I ever be. So, to strive for perfection is detrimental to what I am trying to accomplish. I need to be easier on myself when I fall “off the wagon” because the more time I sit in the dirt crying and cursing myself for being stupid enough to fall, the further away that wagon gets and it becomes harder to catch up with it!

This blog has become an invaluable tool for me. It is forcing me to really think about my situation and in doing so I am finding clarity. All my readers comments, emails, and phone calls are greatly appreciated and your support is sincerely motivating me on my way. Somehow, this task seems less daunting knowing that I have such an amazing family and friends routing for me. So, keep the comments coming, it’s surprising how such a tiny gesture can be so meaningful.