One More Day

Tomorrow is our final day of the cleanse. Thank goodness! These past 27 days have been challenging, enlightening, and intense at times. But I am happy that we took on this endeavor and proved to ourselves exactly what we are capable of accomplishing. I remember how nervous and scared I was the day before the cleanse. I doubted myself before we even started. Now that I am on the opposite side of the 28 days I see how silly those feelings were. It was far easier than I thought it would be, not to say it was a cake walk (mmm… cake…) because if you would have asked me about day 10 or 11 if I wanted to quit I would have jumped at the chance. Although week 2 was very trying for me I am glad that I experienced such a low and was able to pick myself up and keep going.

I’ve learned a lot. Not only have I learned what my body truly needs in terms of nutrition, how to read labels, and some healthy alternatives for our favorite recipes… I also learned the depth of Ramses’ devotion and support as well as realizing that he’s only human and has unhealthy cravings too… can we say “chili dogs” after only week 1!? But the most important lesson I learned is that I am truly capable of making a healthy commitment to myself. These lessons are exactly what I needed after my gallbladder surgery the the 3 rough months after.

Would I do the cleanse again? Sure… but I think the recommended once a year is good enough for me. This last week has been like a countdown to the last day of school. Not that the day we’re off the cleanse we’re hitting a drive-thru… you won’t be seeing that from us again!! But the limitations are starting to get to me. For example, last week we went to the health food store and I really wanted a veggie burger… but all of them had soy or wheat which are not allowed on the cleanse. So as I stood in front of the freezer section reading labels I thought, “I cannot believe that I only want a veggie burger, a very healthy choice, and I STILL can’t have it!” I walked away repeating, “7 more days, 7 more days…”

I will see Jodi later today for my weigh-in and BIA, the last of the cleanse. On day 14 my weight loss was 11 lbs but I am not expecting anymore than that, as I mentioned before the cleanse is not designed for weight loss. When I read other weight loss blogs the writers usually have a place where they keep track of their starting weight and loss to date. I haven’t done that and I have no plans to do so. These last 3 months the scale has tortured me and served as a reminder of my lack of consistency… down one week, up the next in a constant struggle that was really getting in my head and undoing my already shaky resolve. Last week I was feeling great and feeling very accomplished then the question came, “So, have you lost anymore weight?” At that point I didn’t know it had been a week since my last weigh in and out home scale gave up on us about a month ago. The next day we went our and got a new scale and when I stepped on it, the same number that I saw a week prior at my last weigh-in stared me in the face. At that moment all the wonderful feelings of accomplishment and pride left me.

I have been seeing Jodi for 5 months now and I have learned that my weight is not the only way to gauge my progress. I understand phase angle, the difference between inter and extracellular water, and the factors that effect those numbers but “outsiders” only know the numbers on the scale. Admittedly, my weight loss hasn’t been all that impressive but my overall health has improved and even though int he grand scheme of things I am still at the foot of my mountain I have improved by leaps and bounds. This is an entire lifestyle change… a rest-of-my-life sort of thing and that takes time. So, you will only hear me mention weight when I hit milestone amounts and if it takes me another 5 months to lose a total of 20 lbs then so be it. Jodi reminds me constantly to live in the present and right now I feel great and nothing can take that away from me. =)

Busy, Busy, Busy

I have been meaning to blog for over a week now! I’ve just been so busy. I’ve been spending a lot of time working on the Bodyfit site and now my boss has wrangled me into doing a little site for his race team, Lost Boys Racing. And, of course, he needs the site all up and running by Thursday. So between managing both sites and my regular work I’ve had little time left for my personal blog.

So, why not post at when you get home from work, Karen? Well… Ramses and I are in the process of re-doing our home office/study. We are getting new furniture delivered today and are having custom, ceiling to floor bookshelves made to house, well… books. The home office was the only room to get hand-me-down furniture from our last house and doesn’t match anything else we have. So it’s been on my “one day we’ll…” list for about 3 years. I am excited and will most likely need to get more books to fill up our awesome new shelves… darn *snaps fingers*.

Last night we spent the whole evening cleaning up the garage. When we moved in Ramses created storage in the attic space then had the whole thing drywalled and painted. I hate clutter. It makes me feel jittery. I am happy to say Ramses is the same way, I am not sure if I made him that way or if he’s naturally inclined like I am, either way I am grateful. So, if you go in our garage you will not see any junk… only my car, our lawnmower, various exercise machines, punching bags, some shelves that are in need of tidying, and massive amounts of dust and dog hair. Hana & Asa, our retriever mixes became outside dogs when we moved into the new house. New house + dirty, clumsy dogs = bad idea. But they have free reign over the garage. Every summer we try to get them shaved to help with the heat and the shedding. This summer the very-much-needed task are overlooked. The result? Dog hair… everywhere. They shed enough to make two whole other dogs! It’s crazy! It took hours to get the place cleaned up and still when I went to leave this morning I see tufts of hair on the rugs that Ramses uses for his stretching and floor exercises. Argh! Talk about frustration! Don’t get me wrong I love my sweet, dopey big dogs but their hair is another story.

Asa & Hana, our oldest “kids.”

The reason for the night o’garage cleaning? To make the garage function more like a home gym. We have lots of equipment that have been gathering dust (and dog hair) for years so we’ve decided that we need to make use of what we have. I am still doing my DVD’s but Ramses needs more space to do the workouts that he’s learned from his trainer, Kevin. And once I finish about 6 more weeks of my DVD’s I will need to start incorporating some new things into my routine. Also, Ramses is going to start working our with our dear friend Matt on the days that he’s not at Bodyfit. Now that we are in the downhill portion of the cleanse (day 18 and counting) we feel like our nutrition is really getting on track so we felt like we need to dial in our workouts. For me, I just need to get moving again and into a routine that keeps me doing so. For Ramses, he needs to amp up his home workouts to match what he’s doing at Bodyfit. So, we are in the planning stages and hope that by next week we will both be getting the swing of our new schedules. We will be adding meat back into our diets on Thursday (yay!) so our energy levels should be getting back to where they were at the end of last month. Wish us luck!

Cleanse Day 10

“You are climbing mountains not strolling in the park.”
-Jodi, My Nutritionist

Saturday was the first day of the phase two in the cleanse. So, we are now right in the thick of the most difficult week during the process. Aside from the cutting out all red meat, pork, sugar, caffeine, gluten, wheat, dairy, and soy (which will be gone from our diet the entire 28 days) we have now cut other allowed foods; chicken, fish, sweeteners, starches, breads, legumes, nuts & seeds, and dairy substitutes. That leaves fruits, vegetables, limited amounts of rice, and fats (i.e. oils.) Sounds tough? It is… but I am getting used to it.

I started feeling ill about lunch time on Friday. I was feeling nauseous and get weak overall. The nausea just worsened as Saturday rolled around and did not subside until yesterday afternoon. The nausea kept me from eating much and was making the shakes intolerable. So the lack of eating was only making things worse. Yesterday morning I felt like I was at my wit’s end and could not fathom another day on this cleanse. Not that being able to eat whatever I wanted would have helped since I was at the point where even the thought of my favorite foods made my stomach turn but I felt like the cleanse was making me sick and I didn’t want another part of it! After two or three tearful phone conversations with Ramses and emails back and forth with Jodi I found my resolve beneath the nausea and self-doubt… admittedly though I hated them both for about 15 minutes or so. They would not let me quit and I knew there was no way out of this so at lunch I ate despite feeling like I was going to throw up. I knew it was the only thing that would help me and shortly after I started feeling better. By dinner time I was able to eat well and the nausea hasn’t returned. I also adjusted my shake recipe to a tolerable flavor and consistency simply by adding some banana. Surprisingly enough the change in eating hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would be. And contrary to what others may think, my desire to stop was not me being a petulant child throwing a fit to eat whatever I wanted… it was because I truly felt sick and did not want to continue doing something that made me feel so bad.

I am feeling fine today and I am so relieved. I feel a little dumb for reacting so strongly yesterday but at the time I could not see an end to feeling miserable and I did not want to continue doing something that I felt was making me sick. And just the thought of wanting to quit made me feel like such a failure. But I am happy to report that I am better today and so is my outlook on this whole process. I am, however, looking forward to Saturday where all the allowed foods are added back except chicken and fish. =)

Cleanse Day 5

Yesterday was my first weight-in and BIA since we started the cleanse on Sunday. After only 4 days following the program I lost 7 lbs! I was shocked. To be fair, the majority of the weight was water only 1 lb was fat but considering the issues I have been having with water retention this is a huge deal. Since I started seeing Jodi excess water has been my arch nemesis. Seeing the scale hardly move then the next week finding I gained it back has been really discouraging. So, mostly water or not… I am taking it! Yay, me! Ramses also weighed in and had his BIA done. Since his last weigh in at Jodi’s in June he’s lost 10 lbs of water and fat while maintaining his lean muscle mass. All his numbers look good and his phase angle (a measurement used to show overall health and fitness at the cellular level) was up to 8.1, which is ideal for his age. So, amend the above mentioned “yay, me!” to yay us!!

The first two-three days of the cleanse were difficult. The first day was hard because we were trying to follow all the meal suggestions in the patient guide and ended up not really liking it. The second day was when we decided we had to change our menu and a lot of our planning went out the window so we had to reassess. Days two and three were terrible for me because of the withdrawal headaches I was having but by day four they were gone and after I got the results of the weigh-in. I can safely say it’s all been worth it so far. The hardest part for me has been the shakes and all the supplements. I don’t like the taste. We’ve been messing with adding fruit to the shakes and it’s helped a bit but I still get grossed out by that momentary taste of the herbal, supplement-y yuckiness. Ramses doesn’t taste it and thinks I’m crazy but I say I just have a more sensitive palette than he does.

On Saturday we start the next phase of the program that eliminates all meat, legumes, nuts & seeds, diary & milk substitutes, all starches (except rice), and all sweeteners. So I can guarantee that there will be more challenges then. As I mentioned before and as you can see by what’s eliminated the lack of protein will be the hardest part.

One thing that Jodi discussed with me was the possibility of extending the cleanse for me past the 28 days. Due to my health history, namely the cancer and the cancer treatments it would be beneficial to prolong the cleanse so that I can get the full effect. I never really considered the long term effects of serious illness or the treatments it took to cure me. The amount of radioactive iodine that I’ve been administered consistently over the past 8 years or so has effected my body on a cellular level and my metabolism… and as of yet, still no superpowers… lame. To what extent I’ve been effected is unknown but tracking my numbers on the BIA, my labs, and the way I am feeling we will get a pretty good idea if I will need additional time on the cleanse. My main concern with staying longer on this program is the cost that is involved. The UltraClear shake mixes and supplements have cost us about $800.00. That is not counting what it cost to stock our pantry with all the organic and gluten-free foods that we needed. If it wasn’t for the economic stimulus check we would have had to dip into our savings just to do this, since buying the house “extra” spending cash is a thing of the past. I understand the importance something like this holds in regards to my health and I am willing to do all that I can to succeed… I am just not sure that our bank account can handle it! So, it is my hope that if I do need to stay on the cleanse longer that it won’t be that much longer or in a modified (cheaper) form.

All that being said, I am excited to see how the cleanse will help as we get further. I understand that water weight shifts and I probably won’t see another 7 lb loss next week but the fact that my body is responding is encouraging! My normally uncooperative body has suddenly shown me that it CAN change and that it wants to. That in itself is worth all the cost and the planning.

Twenty-Nine

So, today is my birthday. The last birthday of my twenties, in fact. When some women reach this age they decide to stop counting and start celebrating the anniversary of their 29th birthday year after year. Not me. I am OK with aging. Of course, I say that now that I haven’t really noticed any real physical signs of it. I may change my tune in another 10 years or so. The way I see it is every birthday since the cancer is welcome and a reason to celebrate. Also, Ramses always buys me flowers to brighten up my office which I love.

My twenties haven’t been… typical (if there is such a thing.) Frankly, they sort of sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I have been incredibly fortunate the last 9 years; I got married, our little sweeties made their way into our lives, we bought our first house, and maintained/made some wonderful friendships but I have also seen my fair share of trauma and heartbreak. All of which I have been very open about here on this blog and most of my friends have been through it all with me. I am looking forward to spending my last year as a twenty-something taking the best care of myself as possible to help tip the odds a bit in my favor so that my thirties will be better.

I am sincerely looking forward to my thirties. I am confident that I will spend them healthier, wiser, and happier than any other time in my life so far. There are no guarantees that struggle won’t find me again but I can guarantee that I will be better prepared to handle each challenge with a wisdom and grace that wasn’t yet available to me until now. I am also taking an active role in bettering my health which I know will better my life as a whole. This journey is allowing me to learn about myself and who I truly am as a person. I am paying more attention to the important things in life and getting my priorities straight. I am also learning a lot about the people in my life by the overwhelming support they have been giving me and through just plain observation. And even though I have been struggling lately (and am craving some cake and ice cream…damn you, cleanse!) I am happy. Life is good and can only get better.

In honor of my old age and just for fun here’s a little trip down memory lane… a picture of baby me!

My mom would tell me “Pose for Daddy!” and I would do this. I can’t believe I was ever so hammy!

Cleanse Day 1

Yesterday was the first day of our 28-day cleanse. It went relatively well and our planning helped immensely. We spent hours at two different grocery stores to find the types of foods that are OK to include during the cleanse. (BTW, Heather… thank you soooooo much for your shopping suggestions, my husband and I were singing the praises of the frozen organic brown rice from Trader Joe’s!) We tried out some new recipes taken directly from the patient guide which ended up being a bit of a miss. Both of us liked some of the things and disliked other things, and of course we liked/disliked the opposite things, therefore, there was no clear cut winner of the day. We anticipated this a little and entered into the process with an open mind. We are hoping to find at least a few recipes that will make it into our regular menu once the cleanse is over. The shakes and supplements are as to be expected… supplement-y. I think the shakes taste a bit like crushed up Flintstones’ vitamins, yummy at first thought but not really that great.

I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. The morning shake and small breakfast helped alleviate the pain a bit but it came back about an hour ago. Jodi says that’s normal and that some people actually have flu-like symptoms when the toxins start to flush out. Ramses is feeling OK except he said he’s feeling a little dizzy and tired. Not a good sign since we are only on day 2. I think that he was very dependent on his morning protein shake for energy until lunch time. So, without that he’s feeling it already. We both need to tweak a few things this week but it changes next week so I am guessing that Ramses is going to have problems with the lack of protein on days 7-13. He is determined to stick it out with me but based on how much more energy he needs than me I am guessing the vegetarian days won’t stay vegetarian for too long for him.

Here’s the breakdown on what we have to avoid during the 28 days:

• Oranges & Orange Juice
• Corn & Creamed Vegetables
• Wheat, Corn, Barley; All Gluten-Containing Products
• Soybeans, Tofu, Soy Milk, other Soy Products
• Peanuts & Peanut Butter
• Beef, Pork, Cold Cuts, Eggs, & Shellfish
• Milk, Cheese, Cottage Cheese, Cream, Yogurt, Butter, Ice Cream, & other Dairy Products.
• Margarine, Shortening, Processed and Hydrogenated Oils, and Mayonnaise.
• Soda, Alcohol, Coffee, Tea, and other Caffeinated Beverages.
• Chocolate
• Ketchup, Mustard, Relish, BBQ Sauce, or other Condiments.
• White or Brown Refined Sugar, Honey, Maple Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Candy, & Desserts made with sweeteners.

If anything this cleanse has taught us to read labels! The program changes pretty much week to week and starting Day 7 we will only be allowed fruits, vegetables, and rice (although I am limited to 1/2 cup – 1 cup a day to avoid the carbs.) All in all I am staying very positive about the process and anxious to see how it makes me feel (fingers crossed it’s not just this headache!) I will keep you all updated!