Turning A New Page

About two weeks ago while reorganizing our new office I came across my old journals.  So, as I normally do while trying to get a task done I was sidetracked and read through some of them.  I have journaled most my life but the ones I still have date back about 10 years.  It was surprising to see how my handwriting has changed from super-girlie to the odd all capitals (except the vowels for some reason) block writing that I use now.

After thumbing through a couple of them I came to the conclusion that the majority of the issues I deal with today I have been dealing with my entire life.  I also noticed that I only ran to my journal when I was depressed or had a gripe of some sort.  The years surrounding my cancer were particularly dark and fearful.  I was brought to tears several times reliving the intense feelings I poured into onto the blank pages.  Although many of my feelings of inadequacy and self-esteem issues still exist I realized that my outlook has completely changed.  There is a lot of hopelessness on those pages and negative feeling ran rampant. Even the journals themselves were dark colors and somber.

I have written here about how I have a tendency to only write when my heart is heavy.  I have also expressed the desire to celebrate the joyful things in my life.  So, I came up with, what I think, is a fantastic idea.  I decided to store away my old journals and get a new one.  So, I went searching for a FUN journal, something colorful and cheerful.  Then I found this great website, Jenni Bick Bookbinding that had the perfect journal… well, two perfect journals and I couldn’t decide between them so I ended up getting both.  I also got some pretty colored pens to help inspire a bit more whimsy in my thoughts.

SONGBIRD:

TREETOPS:

I LOVE these books!  I adore the unique pages on the Treetops journal.  My hope is that these happy journals inspire me to record my happy thoughts and help me write outside the lines.  =)